Tag: validation seeking
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How To Unwind After A Demanding Day In A Toxic Relationship
How do you unwind after a demanding day? Not every demanding day happens at work. Sometimes it happens in your own home.Sometimes it happens through your phone.Sometimes it happens inside one relationship.Sometimes it is just life asking too much from you at once. Sometimes it looks like: Your phone never stopping.Someone calling constantly.Messages needing replies…
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I’m Writing This Before I’ve Fully Left
I had a thought the other day. Who am I to write about unhealthy relationships when I still haven’t fully left mine? Fair question. Because the truth is, healing sounds a lot better when it’s written by someone who is fully out, glowing, peaceful, and drinking lemon water somewhere. Not someone who is still anxious…
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I Am Not A Liar
I am not a liar. But for a long time, I was treated like one. And if someone questions your reality enough, eventually you start questioning it too. People think lying is always about being sneaky. About manipulation.About bad character.About enjoying deception. Sometimes it is. But sometimes lying is what happens when honesty becomes exhausting.…
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How To Stop Romanticising Someone Who Stressed You Out
A surprisingly common recovery problem. You leave. You gain distance. Your nervous system calms down a little. And suddenly your brain starts producing a cinematic highlight reel. The laughs. The chemistry. The “good times.” The deep talks at 1am. Their smile. That one road trip. The version of them that appeared occasionally like a seasonal…
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What To Do In The First Week After Leaving
No one really prepares you for the week after you leave. People talk about leaving like it is the finish line.Like once you walk out, block the number, or say the words, everything suddenly makes sense. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like freedom straight away. Sometimes it feels strange.Quiet.Sad.Relieving one minute, unbearable the next. You might…
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Things People Say When They Don’t Understand
One of the hardest parts of toxic relationships is not always the relationship itself. Sometimes it is the people around it. The friends.The family.The coworkers.The well-meaning people with strong opinions and no idea what they’re talking about. Because when you’re already confused, ashamed, attached, exhausted, and trying to survive something unhealthy… being surrounded by people…
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Sex Was Never Just Sex
People talk about sex in relationships like it exists on its own. Like it’s separate from everything else.Separate from stress.Separate from fear.Separate from resentment.Separate from how safe you feel with someone. I used to think something was wrong with me because I stopped wanting it.For a long time, I didn’t understand why. At the start,…
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He Made Me Prove I Hadn’t Shaved
I wish I could say I laughed. Like properly laughedand hung up the phoneand told someone later“you will not believe what he just asked me” I didn’t. We’d already argued. It had blown up over LinkedIn. Not even proper social media. LinkedIn. People I don’t even know or talk to.Companies.People in my industry.Stuff related to…
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How To Support Someone Who Is Struggling To Leave
Watching someone you care about stay in something painful can be frustrating. You can see it clearly.You can see how tired they are.You can see the excuses getting thinner.You can see them shrinking. And still, they stay. Or they leave… and go back.Then leave again.Then answer the call they swore they wouldn’t. It can make…
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He Thought I Was Flirting With A Kid And His Dad
I was at the shops.On the phone to him.Because that’s just how it was.Not because I wanted to.It just wasn’t really an option not to.We were just talking.Nothing big.Nothing serious.And I was standing near this kid and his dad.Just waiting.Normal.The kid said something.I don’t even remember what.Just something small.Something a kid would say.And I did…
Still Leaving 